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| The \Late Dr Richard Teo |
The late Dr Richard Teo, a 40-year-old millionaire and cosmetic
surgeon died from stage 4 cancer 18 October 2012. The following is
the transcript of a talk he gave to the D1 class (medical students) on 19 Jan 2012.
“Hi good morning to all of you. My voice is a bit hoarse, so please bear with
me. I thought I'll just introduce myself. My name is Richard, I'm a medical doctor. And I thought I'll just share some thoughts of
my life. It's my pleasure to be invited
by prof. Hopefully, it can get you thinking about how... as you pursue this..
embarking on your training to become dental surgeons, to think about other
things as well.
Since young, I am a typical product of today's society. Relatively successful product that society
requires.. From young, I came from a
below average family. I was told by the media... and people around me that
happiness is about success. And that success is about being wealthy. With this mind-set, I've always be extremely
competitive, since I was young.
Not only do I need to go to the top school, I need to
have success in all fields. Uniform groups, track, everything. I needed to get trophies, needed to be
successful, I needed to have colours award, national colours award, everything.
So I was highly competitive since young. I went on to medical school, graduated
as a doctor. Some of you may know that
within the medical faculty, ophthalmology is one of the most highly sought
after specialities. So I went after that as well. I was given a traineeship in ophthalmology, I
was also given a research scholarship by NUS to develop lasers to treat the eye.
So in the process, I was given 2 patents, one for the
medical devices, and another for the lasers. And you know what, all this academic
achievements did not bring me any wealth. So once I completed my bond with MOH, I
decided that this is taking too long, the training in eye surgery is just
taking too long. And there's lots of money to be made in the private sector. If you're aware, in the last few years, there
is this rise in aesthetic medicine. Tons of money to be made there. So I
decided, well, enough of staying in institution, it's time to leave. So I quit my training halfway and I went on to
set up my aesthetic clinic... in town, together with a day surgery centre.
You know the irony is that people do not make heroes out
average GP (general practitioner), family physicians. They don't. They make heroes out of people who are rich
and famous. People who are not happy to pay $20 to see a GP, the same person
have no qualms paying ten thousand dollars for a liposuction, 15 thousand
dollars for a breast augmentation, and so on and so forth. So it's a no brainer
isn't? Why do you want to be a gp?
Become an aesthetic physician. So instead of healing the sick and ill, I
decided that I'll become a glorified beautician. So, business was good, very
good. It started off with waiting of one
week, then became 3weeks, then one month, then 2 months, then 3 months. I was overwhelmed; there were just too many
patients. Vanities are fantastic
business. I employed one doctor, the second doctor, the 3rd doctor, the 4th
doctor. And within the 1st year, we're
already raking in millions. Just the 1st year. But never is enough because I was so obsessed
with it. I started to expand into Indonesia to get all the rich Indonesian tai-tais who wouldn't
blink an eye to have a procedure done. So
life was really good.
So what do I do with the spare cash. How do I spend my
weekends? Typically, I'll have car club gatherings. I take out my track car,
with spare cash I got myself a track car. We have car club gatherings. We'll go
up to Sepang in Malaysia. We'll go for car racing. And it was my life. With other spare cash, what
do i do? I get myself a Ferrari. At that time, the 458 wasn't out, it's just a
spider convertible, 430. This is a friend of mine, a schoolmate who is a forex
trader, a banker. So he got a red one, he was wanting all along a red one, I
was getting the silver one.
So what do I do after getting a car? It's time to buy a house, to build our own
bungalows. So we go around looking for a
land to build our own bungalows, we went around hunting. So how do i live my
life? Well, we all think we have to mix
around with the rich and famous. This is one of the Miss Universe. So we hang around with the beautiful, rich and
famous. This by the way is an internet founder. So this is how we spend our lives, with dining
and all the restaurants and Michelin Chefs you know.
So I reach a point in life that I got everything for my
life. I was at the pinnacle of my career and all. That's me one year ago in the
gym and I thought I was like, having everything under control and reaching the
pinnacle.
Well, I was wrong. I didn't have everything under control. About last year March, I started to develop
backache in the middle of nowhere. I thought maybe it was all the heavy squats
I was doing. So I went to SGH, saw my
classmate to do an MRI, to make sure it's not a slipped disc or anything. And
that evening, he called me up and said that we found bone marrow replacement in
your spine. I said, sorry what does that mean? I mean I know what it means, but I couldn't
accept that. I was like “Are you serious?” I was still running around going to
the gym you know. But we had more scans the next day, PET scans - positrons
emission scans, they found that actually I have stage 4 terminal lung cancer. I was like "Whoa where did that come
from?” It has already spread to the brain, the spine, the liver and the
adrenals. And you know one moment I was there, totally thinking that I have
everything under control, thinking that I've reached the pinnacle of my life. But the next moment, I have just lost it.
This is a CT scan of the lungs itself. If you look at it, every single dot there is a
tumour. We call this miliaries tumour. And in fact, I have tens of thousands of them
in the lungs. So, I was told that even
with chemotherapy, that I'll have about 3-4months at most. Did my life come
crushing on, of course it did, who wouldn't? I went into depression, of course, severe
depression and I thought I had everything.
See the irony is that all these things that I have, the
success, the trophies, my cars, my house and all. I thought that brought me
happiness. But i was feeling really
down, having severe depression. Having all these thoughts of my possessions,
they brought me no joy. The thought of You
know, I can hug my Ferrari to sleep, no...No, it is not going to happen. It
brought not a single comfort during my last ten months. And I thought they were, but they were not
true happiness. But it wasn't. What really brought me joy in the last ten
months was interaction with people, my loved ones, friends, people who
genuinely care about me, they laugh and cry with me, and they are able to
identify the pain and suffering I was going through. That brought joy to me,
happiness. None of the things I have, all the possessions, and I thought those
were supposed to bring me happiness. But it didn't, because if it did, I would
have felt happy think about it, when I was feeling most down..
You know the classical Chinese New Year that is coming
up. In the past, what do I do? Well, I
will usually drive my flashy car to do my rounds, visit my relatives, to show
it off to my friends. And I thought that was joy, you know. I thought that was really joy. But do you really think that my relatives and
friends, whom some of them have difficulty trying to make ends meet, that will
truly share the joy with me? Seeing me
driving my flashy car and showing off to them? No, no way. They won’t be sharing joy with me.
They were having problems trying to make
ends meet, taking public transport. In
fact i think, what I have done is more like you know, making them envious,
jealous of all I have. In fact,
sometimes even hatred.
Those are what we call objects of envy. I have them, I show them off to them and I
feel it can fill my own pride and ego. That didn't bring any joy to these
people, to my friends and relatives, and I thought they were real joy.
Well, let me just share another story with you. You know when I was about your age, I stayed
in king Edward VII hall. I had this
friend whom I thought was strange. Her name is Jennifer, we're still good
friends. And as I walk along the path,
she would, if she sees a snail, she would actually pick up the snail and put it
along the grass patch. I was like why do you need to do that? Why dirty your hands? It’s just a snail. The truth is she could feel for the snail. The
thought of being crushed to death is real to her, but to me it's just a snail. If you can't get out of the pathway of humans
then you deserve to be crushed, it’s part of evolution isn't it? What an irony
isn't it?
There I was being trained as a doctor, to be
compassionate, to be able to empathise; but I couldn't. As a house officer, I graduated from medical
school, posted to the oncology department at NUH. And, every day, every other day I witness
death in the cancer department. When I
see how they suffered, I see all the pain they went through. I see all the
morphine they have to press every few minutes just to relieve their pain. I see them struggling with their oxygen
breathing their last breath and all. But it was just a job. When I went to clinic every day, to the wards
every day, take blood, give the medication but was the patient real to me? They weren't real to me. It was just a job, I
do it, I get out of the ward, I can't wait to get home, I do my own stuff.
Was the pain, was the suffering the patients went through
real? No. Of course I know all the
medical terms to describe how they feel, all the suffering they went through. But in truth, I did not know how they feel,
not until I became a patient. It is until now; I truly understand how they
feel. And, if you ask me, would I have been a very different doctor if I were
to re-live my life now, I can tell you yes I will. Because I truly understand
how the patients feel now. And
sometimes, you have to learn it the hard way.
Even as you start just your first year, and you embark
this journey to become dental surgeons, let me just challenge you on two
fronts.
Inevitably, all of you here will start to go into private
practice. You will start to accumulate
wealth. I can guarantee you. Just doing
an implant can bring you thousands of dollars, it's fantastic money. And actually there is nothing wrong with being
successful, with being rich or wealthy, absolutely nothing wrong. The only trouble is that a lot of us like
myself couldn't handle it.
Why do I say that? Because when I start to accumulate,
the more I have, the more I want. The
more I wanted, the more obsessed I became. Like what I showed you earlier on,
all I can was basically to get more possessions, to reach the pinnacle of what
society did to us, of what society wants us to be. I became so obsessed that nothing else really
mattered to me. Patients were just a
source of income, and I tried to squeeze every single cent out of these
patients.
A lot of times we forget, whom we are supposed to be
serving. We become so lost that we serve
nobody else but just ourselves. That was
what happened to me. Whether it is in
the medical, the dental fraternity, I can tell you, right now in the private
practice, sometimes we just advise patients on treatment that is not indicated.
Grey areas. And even though it is not
necessary, we kind of advocate it. Even at this point, I know who are my
friends and who genuinely cared for me and who are the ones who try to make
money out of me by selling me "hope". We kind of lose our moral
compass along the way. Because we just want to make money.
Worse, I can tell you, over the last few years, we bad
mouth our fellow colleagues, our fellow competitors in the industry. We have no qualms about it. So if we can put
them down to give ourselves an advantage, we do it. And that's what happening
right now, medical, dental everywhere. My
challenge to you is not to lose that moral compass. I learnt it the hard way, I hope you don't ever have to do it.
Secondly, a lot of us will start to get numb to our
patients as we start to practise. Whether is it government hospitals, private
practice, I can tell you when I was in the hospital, with stacks of patient
folders, I can't wait to get rid of those folders as soon as possible; I can't
wait to get patients out of my consultation room as soon as possible because
there is just so many, and that's a reality. Because it becomes a job, a very routine job. And this is just part of it. Do I truly know
how the patient feels back then? No, I don't. The fears and anxiety and all, do
I truly understand what they are going through? I don't, not until when this happens to me and
I think that is one of the biggest flaws in our system.
We’re being trained to be healthcare providers,
professional, and all and yet we don't know how exactly they feel. I'm not asking you to get involved
emotionally, I don't think that is professional but do we actually make a real
effort to understand their pain and all? Most of us won’t, alright, I can
assure you. So don't lose it, my challenge to you is to always be able to put
yourself in your patient's shoes.
Because the pain, the anxiety, the fear are very real
even though it's not real to you, it's real to them. So don't lose it and you
know, right now I'm in the midst of my 5th cycle of my chemotherapy. I can tell
you it’s a terrible feeling. Chemotherapy is one of those things that you don't
wish even your enemies to go through because it's just suffering, lousy
feeling, throwing out, you don't even know if you can retain your meals or not.
Terrible feeling! And even with whatever little energy now I have, I try to
reach out to other cancer patients because I truly understand what pain and
suffering is like. But it's kind of little too late and too little.
You guys have a bright future ahead of you with all the
resource and energy, so I’m going to challenge you to go beyond your immediate
patients. To understand that there are
people out there who are truly in pain, truly in hardship. Don’t get the idea that only poor people
suffer. It is not true. A lot of these poor people do not have much in
the first place, they are easily contented. for all you know they are happier
than you and me but there are out there, people who are suffering mentally,
physically, hardship, emotionally, financially and so on and so forth, and they
are real. We choose to ignore them or we
just don't want to know that they exist.
So do think about it alright, even as you go on to become
professionals and dental surgeons and all. That you can reach out to these people who are
in need. Whatever you do can make a large difference to them. I'm now at the receiving end so I know how it
feels, someone who genuinely care for you, encourage and all. It makes a lot of
difference to me. That’s what happens after treatment. I had a treatment
recently, but I’ll leave this for another day. A lot of things happened along the way, that's
why I am still able to talk to you today.
I'll just end of with this quote here, it's from this
book called Tuesdays with Morris, and some of you may have read it. Everyone knows that they are going to die;
every one of us knows that. The truth
is, none of us believe it because if we did, we will do things differently.
When I faced death, when I had to, I stripped myself off all stuff totally and
I focused only on what is essential. The
irony is that a lot of times, only when we learn how to die then we learn how
to live. I know it sounds very morbid for this morning but it's the truth, this
is what I’m going through.
Don’t let society tell you how to live. Don’t let the media tell you what you're
supposed to do. Those things happened to me. And I led this life thinking that
these are going to bring me happiness. I
hope that you will think about it and decide for yourself how you want to live
your own life. Not according to what other people tell you to do, and you have
to decide whether you want to serve yourself, whether you are going to make a
difference in somebody else's life. Because true happiness doesn't come from
serving yourself. I thought it was but it didn't turn out that way. With that I thank you, if you have any
questions you have for me, please feel free. Thank you.”
