He said, “This book is my secret journal. It was written during the most difficult period of my life, from December 1987 to June 1988. That was a time of extreme anguish, during which I wondered whether I would be able to hold on to my life. Everything came crashing down – my self esteem, my energy to live and work, my trust in God…everything. Here, I was, a writer about the spiritual life, known as someone who loves God and gives hope to people, flat on the ground and in total darkness...What had happened? I had come face to face with my own nothingness. It was as if all that had given my life meaning was pulled away and I could see nothing in front of me but a bottomless abyss...The strange thing was that this happened shortly after I had found my true home. After many years of life in universities, where I never felt fully at home. I had become a member of L’Arche, a community of men and women with mental disabilities. I had been received with open arms, given all the attention and affection I could ever hope for, and loving place to grow spiritually as well as emotionally. Everything seemed ideal. But precisely at that time I fell apart.”
Nouwen passed on in September 1996. His writings lived on to bless many people all over the world.
His brokenness and love for the Lord permeated through his life and his writings. Many would have hesitated to share such deep and painful experiences but not Nouwen.
The Lord uses Nouwen’s life as an open book to show His glory. Especially to those who are in pain. The painful experience, the dark and deep depression that Nouwen went through became a channel for the Lord to shine His light on all who desire to see His face and know His love.
It is just amazing how Nouwen felt so at home at L’Arche. In the natural, L’Arche is the most unlikely place for anyone to like. To some, it is a place of sadness, a place of forgotten people, a place of pain and anguish.
The Lord led Nouwen to L’Arche and through his time there, he wrote powerful books that are widely read by many today.
Sometimes, God brings us to the most difficult places and surroundings. We may not fully comprehend the reason. When we are where He wants us to be. He floods our hearts with peace and joy. No matter how hard the ground is, God will help us to flourish.
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